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..breathe...breathe.I repeat this sequence three, four, five times? An hour each time. I await your arrival, and finally, after eight hours of this self-abuse, you are here. But not alone, as I had hoped. You have brought friends, whom you have told about the orders you gave me, about what I do for you, what I need to do because it makes my cock feel so incredibly...swollen. Will you take over now, make me cum, humiliate me before all your friends? I will gladly submit. Anything to end the frustration, the cruel denial, the utter desperation of being teased so mercilessly, continuously, for so many hours, and at my own hands...You lead me to the table and gently push my down across it, my conspicuous appendage reaching upward, and begin the familiar ritual of tying me up, stretching my limbs away from my torso until I am spread eagle and completely vulnerable. I close my eyes, not quite daring to imagine the pleasures that await me.You have begun to speak. "He has been. There was nothing to try and save, no matter how much we both wanted to make it all work out. I couldn't make her happy and setting her free was the best thing I could do for her. Even if it did hurt the both of us. It's better this way though. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous.
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